[ IC CONTACT / ACTION FOR HOUSE 1423 ]

[dickering]

" it's hi-tan, leave one. ♥ "

[ texts / calls / notes / voicemail ]

Comments

forwarded text (1 scary way 2 break up);

[wingsit]

DO NOT stop reading this or something bad will happen!!!!!1!!

one day, sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. she got in his car and he drove her to the lake. her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important.

sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. however he flipped her off pushed her in the lake and yelled, “I am breaking up with you, you awful ********!! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your ********* life! DUMB *******!!!”

he laughed and drove off. it was winter. sarah floated there in the water freezing cold and felt the worst she had her entire life. shivering she decided that she didn’t want to ever have her heart ever broken like that again. she slipped under the lake’s surface never to be seen in living flesh again.

her parents cried. her mom went insane and killed herself three days later. her dad is in prison accused of murder.

later that week sarah’s ex-boyfriend was taking a shower when she reached from the drain, rotting and bloody. “7 days.” she whispered and her breath smelled like a pond of dead fish. 7 days later she dragged him down into the drain back to the lake. he slipped into the water never to be seen in living flesh again.

if you do not copy this and forward this to 30 ppl with the title “1 scary way 2 break up” you are a heartless ******.

sarah the pond monster will come to you from drains, and on the 7th day will kill you the same way she’s killed everyone else. the pond monster isn't lonely or anything. it's just that 24 ppl have broken this chain and died.

you have 13 minutes

13 minutes later

[dickering]

[ he reads this text and laughs to himself for a good 13 minutes before responding ]

this is sarah the pond monster
u sent this to this guy
and now he is dead

[wingsit]

THATS NOT FUNNY

Re: 13 minutes later

[wingsit]

NONONONOnonononoonnononono

[wingsit]

why would you leave it exactly 13 minutes why WHY

[wingsit]

this is a joke right
are you ok

[dickering]

he is ok
he has never been more ok in his life
he is fish food
the fish are ok

action;

[badfall]

( woah is that

a decent-sized rock flying in from one of the house's windows??

yes

yes it is.

have a gift, barbecue heat. )

[dickering]

[ S2G HEINE

the rock hits his stupid face and bounds onto the living room table

give him a moment before he sticks his face out of said window to yell: ]

Who's the one that told me to stay away from their house, huh?!

[badfall]

( see he could just not say anything it was kind of an accident okay but no.

no heine can't do that because he's heine. close outside the window with another rock in hand and faced--well, away from baroqueheat's house. )

It's my house now, too. ( welcome to house rammsteiner. you've obtained +1 son who goes by the name of arthur. who's always next door. but it counts. )

lets pretend this was sent promptly

[witchplz]

hey
are you alright? do you have all your limbs and you arent lying in a hot tub somewhere with panties on your face
not breathing
baroqueheat
you're okay, right?

I WAS GONNA DO THIS TOO you beat me to the punch!!!

[dickering]

reporting for duty

im fine

are you ? anyone you know in there?

=u= great minds think alike

[witchplz]

oh thank god
are you sure? all ten fingers and toes? even your elbows?
i'm okay. and no, no one i knew. how about you? this is utterly horrendous...it's frightening how things can go from the temporary displacement and peace and sunshine to...this. things are going to get crazy here on out, i've no doubt about it.

[endgod]

Pseudo-Not-Father, I was watching the television when another message was shown. What looked like a list of housing numbers was displayed, and many of them are our neighbours. In fact, if one was only one number lower, it would be this house. I do not know what this means, but I recommend being cautious nonetheless.

Your Pseudo-Not-Daughter Medaka Kurokami

[dickering]

lovely daughter,

if some asshole tries to come kill us in the night, rest assured that darling dad will punch them in the dick and squash their heads like an overripe pumpkin (bonus points for seasonal references!)

also im not the killer so dont worry about that, kay

tell me if you want me to sleep with you in the same bed if youre very afraid

love,
baroquedaddy

[endgod]

[ She's not really sure if she's more relieved or horrified... but apparently all is good on that end so she's. Satisfied. More or less. THANKS BAROQUEDADDY............ ]

text;

[badfall]

is arthur
in your house

[dickering]

my fake son??
nah i dont think so
why

[badfall]

hes not your fake son
hes my brother
and i cant
find him

text;

[witchplz]

one: it possibly wouldnt kill you to be sneakier when trespassing onto my property instead of purposely pissing my foster father off. i dont have your bail money, i told you that

second: did you happen to wake up really...different the other day

[Let's say hypothetically she's trying to do a good job at avoiding him these past few When The Fuck Did I Become a Solid C Cup and Gain That Height days
semi failing]

[dickering]

not a lot of things can kill me, but discretion definitely can
hi-tan hates being subtle

and no
at least not yet ??
why whats up tell the great handsome one everything

[witchplz]

no it cant! i'll be the one doing the killing if he gets the police on you! hes likely to make sure you're in really unflattering underwear when the po-po bust you! hes that much of a sadist
so embarrassing...

hmmm..i see
oh, no, nothing! i was just wondering.

Text

[mosaicstones]

Hey there, Luigi. This is Reki. Do you remember me?

...and if I have the wrong number, forgive me.

[dickering]

of course, i never forget a pretty face ♥

the one and only, what can i do for ya

[mosaicstones]

You're still a flatter.

Can I have a name other than Luigi to call you? You dropped a couple at the party and I'd like to settle on just one. Other than Luigi.